• ACCEPTED: Everything is good, you're good, the app is good. You can pat yourself on the back and sit back 'til the acceptance letter comes in.
• ACCEPTED, BUT...: There's something you need to clarify, or something that needs just a little tweaking. But you're still in, and applications for your character are closed. Rewrite whatever needs it, -then- pat yourself on the back.
• REVISE OR DIE!: A common phrase for, "The reviewers loved your core concept, but you need to change some things. Please please PLEASE revise, we really want to accept you!" ^_^ Applications will still be open for this character until you (or someone) gets an 'accept'.
• REJECT/REVISE: Your character has one or two glaring problems, or a slew of small faults. Do your best to correct them and try again, and your character could still have potential.
• AUTOREJECT: Someone was smoking crack. Either they applied for a character that doesn't exist, or they left something blank, or they didn't pay attention to the rules or theme, or no one could make sense out of a -single word- of the app (the last one happens, sad but true). Please come back when you're sober, crazy drug person.
• CHARACTER TAKEN: Alas, you sent yours in too late, or we chose another app from the same batch over yours. In this case, we hope you had a second choice in mind...? ^_^;

Because two out of three GMs had to abstain on Sin application voting, Amazing and Beautiful SPECIAL GUEST GMs from Penny Dreadful (Oki) and Darkness Falls (Alysa) came in to vote on them, because they are patient and kind and could actually sit through the huge fattie articles on game theme even though they are not players. Go to their sites and give them wuv.

Remember, you should now be able to submit your apps via the Genesis forum. November votes can still be viewed here.

Astral Senshi

Sailorzakar -- Razi Aislin Erelah (revised): AUTOREJECT. You didn't really revise a single thing we asked you to revise, which makes us crabby and mean, because we tried to invest time in helping you improve this. A secret for people apping: UH. If you don't agree with what we asked you to change THAT IS FINE AND COOL, it also means THIS GAME IS NOT FOR YOU and you need to just go somewhere else in the great wide world so we can all be happy, KTHNX.

Rook Zakar -- Damali Asho: REJECT/REVISE. There is a huge long list of small points that came up, and if you're interested in revising - because there is truly promise here - you can email Laris and she'll paste it for you. Long story short: You've some ideas that work pretty well, but you need to decide on which ones you wants to do and explain them well -- clean up around the edges -- and please put a little more oomph into powers and spells. It's fine that Dama is an ordinary schmoe, that leaves room for snippets of dreaming, but again, you may have to pick between "dream = ambition or fantasy" and "dream = unconscious hallucination" a bit more.

Rook Sin -- Gareth Arreyder ganLleuad: CHARACTER TAKEN.
Alysa: The biggest problems with this app are found in the history and personality sections, which tells you right away there will be some hefty revisions involved. The tragic accident is just unnecessary. The drastic personality change is unnecessary. Giving a character a rocky history that's influenced who he is today is perfectly fine, but you really went overboard with it. Having him go through a debilitating accident and go stark raving mad is just too much, especially when he comes out of it with just a personality change and some self control. If you're going to attempt something like insanity, you need to consider that there will be some very real, lasting effects that go beyond just turning cynical. That's where the personality comes in. The idea that he was only affected in that he lost his arrogance and gained a sarcastic edge is silly.

There were also problems with telling rather than showing (do not TELL us he's a pretty boy; show us by describing the features that make him so girly/pretty), mentioning modern ideas that don't jive with the setting (camp counselors, Simpson's Theory of Elemental Balance, etc), and the failure to really make the separate aspects of the character connect and gel. The writing is nice and pleasant enough to read, but the character is distinctly lacking.

Oki: The problem with this application is that I was pretty unclear as to why he was Sin; there didn't seem to be that much connection to the actual sphere, which is kinda no-no. There were some ideas that could have been interesting, had they been developed further, but many things -- particularly personality and special skills -- felt jumbled together. There's nothing wrong with caustic personalities, and they can indeed be very interesting, but it just didn't seem to work here. Altogether, not sold on this guy as Sin. Try again?

Final Verdict: Please come back with something else? We'd kinda like to see you again if you're amiable to it, and with rework this character in particular would not have to be scrapped entirely. It just needs a good scrub and a different sphere.

Sailorsin -- Mahsati Seddena: ACCEPT, BUT.
Alysa: Mahsati is chock-full of quirks. She's vibrant. This girl I can easily see as a valuable piece of the Astral puzzle. Her history had depth and it all made sense. Her lifestyle creates very obvious story hooks. Also: party games as a skill. Oh God. I love the detail that she doesn't have any elemental alignment. The powers were fitting and were takes on the spheres that I never would've thought of and yes, that's a good thing.

Oki: The Lunatic element was actually pretty cool, here; I particularly like the idea that at least part of it is the placebo effect, tied in with her lack of self-confidence. The only thing I wasn't clear on -- was whether she just pulls the Fatima act around the full moon. If so, does she give some explanation as to why she's only around then? Otherwise, s'all good, Mahsati's darling.

Final Verdict: Accept with fixes to explain schtuff.

Sailorsin -- Miakoda Hang: CHARACTER TAKEN.
Alysa: It's not so much that there's anything particularly wrong about Mia. The problem is that she's just not very interesting. There's no real depth to her personality, and nothing particularly quirky that would make her stand out, other than being a night owl, and really, that's far too over-used to count as a good quirk. If you picture her as part of the Astrals, she doesn't really contribute anything that they don't have already. In other words, as she stands she just doesn't seem like she'd be a valuable addition.

I think the key here is that what you have now is the barebones framework of a character. Going back into the personality and giving her some more spice, making her less the mild-mannered, calm, good-hearted person and more an individual with real strengths, weaknesses, and eccentricities would be your next step. You have things there that would make great traits if they were expanded/fleshed out, such as being spoiled (don't be afraid to go beyond just making her naive), or how her personality is actually effected by the phases of the moon. Those are things that would make her stand out.

The history could use some work as well. Just because nothing 'special' has happened in her life doesn't mean that nothing AT ALL has happened. There has to be something there that's helped to shape who she is as a person, or even cute little side stories hat her parents would tell their friends about her. There are a few other faults scattered throughout the app, but it's the meat of the character (or lack thereof) that keeps me from considering accepting Mia.

Oki: The real problem with this application is that it's extraordinarily bland. Yar, yar, she's rich, she's shy, she's naive, right, right. But there's no real MEAT there, nothing that makes her an interesting character. It's not a BAD app, but there's nothing very interesting about it, either.

Final Verdict: Please try again, and don't be afraid to spice it up, no matter how frightening our responses to crackfed applicants in the past may be. You're always welcome to pitch an idea on the forums and we'll answer you as best we can, with what you're giving us to spot-check.

Sailorsin -- Shashini Hang: AUTOREJECT. ....you didn't read any of the website except for the open character list, did you. This didn't even make it to guest review, and discussing it any further would cause our withered black hearts to shrivel to the point of imploding.

Sailorninazu -- Arien Karmina Yevari: ACCEPT. Arien is witchy and adorable, and we are SO HAPPY to have a Potions expert. Your grasp of the theme is awesome, and your creation, the Warding Guild, would be a welcome enhancement to the existing Atlantean theme. Laris knows she went into more detail when she read this character the first go 'round, but she remembers she gave it a heartfelt ACCEPT. YES. You are precious and sweet and make our withered black old hearts smile. <3

Sailorgirru -- Lailee Mas Veda: Here's your fast reply, sweetcheeks: REJECT. Your application was offensively hateful *at everyone in the game*, your concept is deeply flawed, your powers are inappropriate, you are in desperate need of a spell and grammar check, and your relationships with your NPCs terrify us beyond reason. And we knew all of this BEFORE we knew that you personally were a self-absorbed, condescending brat. So here is your closure: please go away, and never come back. <3 <3 <3, Ali, Laris, and Tan.
P.S. Beautiful artwork, by the way. Laris aspires to be this talented, and maybe if she tries hard enough, she will someday.

Sailorgirru -- Amala Clytemnestra Zuberi-Lucius: REJECT/REVISE. Points are too long for this page, so HEED CAL'S HILARIOUS WORDS. You can't have it both ways: either be Bossy McBitchfiend OR Weepy McOrphanshoer. XD The powers are going to need overhauling, which is admittedly HARD because Girru is HARD, so be advised you'll have to be up to the task to get this one in. There was promise here but also too many problems to ignore, holler if you want the long story. We'll be in touch.

Sailorkaksisa -- Iphigenia Thwayya Shamira: REJECT, NO REVISE. This is bordering on autoreject for ignoring the fuku entirely, this Kaksisa looks like she came out of a whole 'nother RPG. Please oh please read the accepted characters to get an idea of what's been applied for successfully, this just comes so far out of left field that left field is now on the MOON, and also is scary. The GMs think that webbed toes AND eyepatches AND two mommies AND having almost nothing to do with stars is scary, I'm sorry. Just... no.

Rook Ninsun -- Zeldin Cecil Leuka: REJECT/REVISE. There is a longer list of points for this one, also. Same routine. Long story short: Past too ansgty, names too liberally pulled from familiar games. A big part of being in an RPG of this sort is meshing with what already exists, and that was there the problems were. You are, however, professed to be a young'un, and I assume sort of new to RPGs like Genesis, and if you want to try to revise this one or come back later with something, tha's cool. We'll talk.

Primal Senshi

No wuv. ;_;

Acolytes

Irkalla -- Yownah ben Redeemer: ACCEPT (tiny) BUT. We're going to propose just a teensy 'but' here, because Yownah touches on a theme we're just trying to avoid across the board -- and that is the whole "women inferior to men" thing. This is not to say you cannot HAVE this worked into Yownah's ultimate fate of being buried alive by her tribe, but she has to downplay it some. She doesn't have to eliminate it wholly. The general consensus was this: Play up the expectations on Yownah because she is the first to come into power so young (and if they've never had a girl we can have that SMIDGE of gender-line inasmuch as it is a New Thing and We Heart Tradition) and have almost ALL of the blame fall onto her boffing an outsider to the point of having a FILTHY HALFBREED. Other than that, Yownah is a wonderful read, creepy and compelling, and DEAR GOD WELCOME to a long and desperately awaited Irkalla.

Irkalla -- Anastasia Aikateros: CHARACTER TAKEN. This was just not nearly so much what we were looking for as the other, unfortunately, personality was short without anything to make up for it enough, and it cut corners on everything except for the god of death stuff, which kind of is at odds with our rules on deities -- whether it's religious zeal or being crazy and full of hate for their fellow man, the Acolyes are for Marduk and Marduk alone, and this character just wasn't on the same vibe. Also... flying trumpet.

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